Arranged marriages are a tradition that still occur in many cultures today. This is when a man and a women are predecided to marry each other, usually by their families.This is done for many different reasons, but generally to bond two families together for financial or social reasons. In many cases, the spouse of their child is decided from an extremely young age. There are many great things that can come from an arranged marriage, but it’s hard to ignore the obvious dark side that it possesses.
The Pros of Arranged Marriage
1. No Searching For The One
One of the biggest advantages of having an arranged marriage is the fact that the stress and worry over finding a life partner is virtually eliminated. You don’t have to go through the grueling process of dating and trying to find someone with the same intentions that you have. The decision is made for you both.
2. Guaranteed Family Approval
Whenever you bring home a potential partner to meet your family, tensions and nerves are high. The chance of your family not approving of them, and vice versa, can be a lot to deal with. In the case of an arranged marriage, you already know that your family is on board because they are the ones that chose them for you! The worry is non existent.
3. You Already Know Their Intentions And Values
When you first meet someone and begin dating, you never know if you are meeting the real them. You don’t know if they intend to go the distance with you, or what their intentions are at all. In an arranged marriage you know. You know that they are determined to build a life and family with you. You also don’t have to worry about your values being compatible because your family has already ensured this.
4. Love Can Grow
Sure, you don’t typically fall in love with someone right after you meet them, but this doesn’t mean that you never will. Arranged marriages are unique in the fact that you marry someone before you truly fall in love with them. You are put in a situation where love can blossom, and usually does.
5. Family Values For Your Children
If you come from a culture rich and tradition focused family, you will want your children to have the same experience. This can be tough if you marry someone from a totally different background. With arranged marriages you have the same type of family life, values, and traditions. This makes it very easy to raise your children immersed in their culture.
The Cons of Arranged Marriage
1. No Ownership of Future
Many people who are forced into an arranged marriage do not feel that the decisions in their life are their own. They are told who to marry, when to marry them, and everything else surrounding the wedding is taken care of by family members. Planning your wedding with your significant other is a time of bonding and memories, this is taken away from the participants of arranged marriages.
2. Parents Hold The Blame For Failure
Sometimes people aren’t compatible, married couples have problems that can turn severe. With arranged marriages, if this happens, the blame is almost instantly placed on the parents because they were the ones to choose the spouse for their child.
3. Family Is Overly Involved
If you are in an arranged marriage you should be prepared for your parents, as well as your spouses, to be involved in every facet of your life. From choosing your spouse, planning your wedding, chiming in on marital issues and your parenting, the family is just as much part of the relationship as the spouse.
4. No Experience
It is impossible to know what you want and what you don’t want if you’ve never experienced it. Young people who are involved in an arranged marriage are not allowed to date, ever. This means that they will never know how love is supposed to feel, and how it isn’t. This can cause animosity and major problems down the road for arranged marriage couples.